Positive Speech

Do you know about those days when the kids wake up with fully charged batteries and seem to just screw up everything they touch and we just scream around:

-Don’t do that!
-Don’t go there!
-Do not climb to that chair!
-Don’t throw away all the toys!
-No, no, no …

Armin Hanisch @ freeimages.com

Do you know what I mean? Yeah… We all go through this! Sometimes it seems like they just want to tease us, don’t they?
How to avoid? Is it even possible?
Yes, it is! We can avoid it!

Notice the following: Did we tell them what they could do, at some point? Do we guide them to safe play? Or did we make any constructive suggestions that they could use? No, we just barred activities without giving them any alternatives…

In another and completely different context, I have learned to use positive discourse as a form of communication that does not raise psychological barriers to commercial speech.
The truth is that it works miracles with children.

Try to start replacing the “no” with “what”. For example:
“Do not do this!” Replace with: “-What you can do is …”
It sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Well, the truth is that applying it to 100% requires daily training and is easier if we apply it generically and not just in particular situations (such as just to deal with children only). In fact, I assure you that you will notice how everyone begins to react to you in a different way, being less negative and more cooperative.

Go on, try it!

P.S. Scream also doesn’t help… Use a calm and assertive tone.

Maternity Hospital Bag

All Hospitals have the famous list of “what to pack to a hospital birth”. And if it is true that we should always consult the specific list of where we intend to have our child(ren), it is also true that many of these lists need to be properly filtered. Things like knowing whether they supply or we need to bring bath towels, baby sheets, clothing/gown to the birth room, are important to avoid carrying unnecessary items.

However, products like “silicone nipples”, “pacifiers”, “abdominal binder”, which are unnecessary should not even come on the famous lists. However, there is some advice that is not essential at all, but I usually give in my training on the subject and that I share here with you today. 😊

There is a cosmetic product that should be part of every hospital list for birth but that is often overlooked … the “anti-dark circles”. In the hospital, the ex-pregnant/new mom spends the first of many sleepless nights. Whether it is a labor that occurs and/or lingers through the night, or through alternating and/or simultaneous interminable crying of all babies (including our own) or the cocktail of released hormones they leave you on the alert for any sigh whose volume is higher than the sound of a feather to fall, or simply because we are in contemplation of all the details of our latest masterpiece of art. And, in Motherhood, every day is photo “to remember later” day, so we do not want to remember also the dark circles and the proof of difficult nights.

And speaking of photographic moments, it never hurts to remember that battery chargers, extra batteries, memory cards and the various accessories needed for proper recording of the time should never be forgotten.

Blood collection kits and/or umbilical cord, if they have made that decision, can not be forgotten. It is from those things that there is only a single moment to be used and there is no return to give in case of forgetfulness.

Food & Beverage. The truth is that “hospital food” is “hospital food” … it is usually insipid and has fixed times (there is no buffet 24/7). However, we have not yet figured out how to schedule (small) birth hours. Therefore, we can even spend several hours in labor and not eating, which does not mean that we will have all the meals that we skipped waiting for us when we go to the hospital room (postpartum). Therefore, speak the voice of experience, take some snacks in the bag, some crackers/cereal bars, some juice/milk and a bottle of water.

Magazines and/or non-maternity books because if it is true that many pregnant women have already “devoured” all the thematic literature existing during pregnancy, it is also true that those first days can give a bump in the impact of becoming a mother and responsible for a new Being that we put in the world. So, to have something that we can use that allows us to remember that we are equal (but different) to what we were before being mothers. Something that allows us to take a break from the intensive world of motherhood is something that I consider important.

React to every ouch!

Babies and children, in general, tend to react in response to the reaction of their main caregivers, that is, no matter how much it may cost us at first, we should not react with distress to every fall/trip or others from our little bundles of joy.

T. Rolf @ sxc.hu

1º Assess the situation

2º Evaluate the reaction of the little one

3º If we have to intervene, try not to enlarge the situation

Ex: If we are in a boat that seems to be in trouble and the captain is panicking, what will be our reaction? What if he seems to be calm in solving the problem? Yeah … and we’re adults

How to handle newborn clothes

The newborn’s clothing should be washed with hypoallergenic (unscented) detergents. It must be rinsed with clean water after washing (in the machine, choose the program with more rinses). It must be dry to the sun, the sun rays disinfect. It should not be left to dry on windy days, it accumulates dust.

Alan de Souza, via freeimages.com

It must be completely ironed on both sides (reverse and right) to disinfect. The complete seedlings should be stored in closed bags as they are taken to the maternity ward so that it is more practical to access (do not go to the drawer to get the body, to the shelf to get the pants, to the chest of drawers to look for the babygrow …).

Finally, it should be organized by sizes. Measure the parts for each other and not rely on the labels (there are big differences between brands for supposedly equal sizes). In the early days, everything that saves time is extremely valuable. The previous organization saves a looooooooooooooooot of time!

Some diapers myths


In the case of a rash, it is not possible to use wipes on the diaper change and it is good to always wash with water

When there is a rash, or a redness, erythema, fungal or bacterial infection, in the diaper region, there is always someone who recommends that the skin should be washed with only water on all diaper changes. Like all generalist recommendations, this is one more that can screw all up.

Think about it: what would your skin look like if you take 6 to 8 baths a day? Water as harmless as it may seem can lead to excessive dryness of the skin. This, if in a healthy skin already requires extra hydration measures, if on already injured skin can potentiate the appearance of other problems associated with the loss of integrity of the skin barrier which, due to excessive dryness. It loses the fat layer (sebum / first barrier), loses the layer of dead cells (cornea / second barrier), thus become more exposed to viruses/fungi/bacteria, etc. Therefore, and in any affection of the diaper area, the most important is to minimize contact of the skin with stool and urine, either using more absorbent diapers (called “dry diaper”) or increasing the rate of exchange (ideally immediately after each use of the diaper). It is also important to ensure proper hygiene, removing all debris, and, finally, providing the skin with the ideal conditions for rapid regeneration.

Disposable Diapers Cause Allergies

In theory, any and all substances can cause allergy on a susceptible skin. And here we can include the metal of the reusable snap fasteners, the detergent impregnated in the cotton of it, the elastic ( from both disposable and reusable), etc…

Diapers… Diapers…

The universe of diapers is something that can not be missed by any new family. Starting with the quantity, types, models, environmental and economic impact, something as simple as a diaper, can take hours of sleep and rest to the future parents and have a real impact on the health and well-being of the baby.

Let’s go, step by step…


Foto via freeimages.com

A newborn can need between 8 and 12 diapers a day.
Further forward decreases slightly but never drops more than 5 a day until about 2/3 years.

Types and Models:
There are disposable (use and throw away after it) diapers and reusable (wear, wash and reuse) diapers.
In the disposables there are those of fast absorption, those of great capacity for longer periods (ex: night), the ones of absorption by the fibers (less effective to keep your baby dry), the ones of polymers (better at isolate the humidity), the biodegradable ones, the specific ones to use in water (ex: swimming pool, sea), the diapers of adhesives and pull-ups like underwear (that help in the transition to leave the diapers).
In the reusable ones there are the one-size adjustable ones (accompanying the child’s growth), the traditional ones in various sizes, the pocket ones (they have absorbents that are inserted in an inner pocket), those integrated with bathing suits for use in water (ex: pool, sea, …), etc …

Environmental and Economic Impact:
Obviously, non-biodegradable disposables are the ones which increase the most our ecological footprint by far. The practicality is paid with environmental impact. Halfway there are biodegradable disposables that, while not 100% degradable, always relieve our ecological conscience.
The footprint gets smaller with reusable ones, of course. However, we must not forget the necessary washes, the pollution of water with detergents, the consumption of electricity, etc … right?
Economically speaking, every option has a big impact on the family budget. The reusable ones require a higher initial investment that is monetized later (and especially when the second child arrives), the disposables require a regular and more or less constant expenditure over 2 to 3 years.

And myths related with diapers… Do you know some? Look up for our next post… 😉

Pacifier: yes or no?

Many parents face this doubt and, like much other life’s issues, you have to make a decision. You should not offer only because… Does every baby need a pacifier? There are a bunch of them who never have touch one and “survived”.

It’s not mandatory to use a pacifier. It was invented in 1680 and, as we can still assume by its name, it was created to soothe babies. And, we must tell you, it’s very effective!

The sucking reflex is innate, that is, the (full-term) baby is born with the ability to suck whatever is placed in its mouth. This ability is what allows the baby to feed itself outside of the womb, that is, to nurse. And it’s precisely this fact that can cause problems when introducing a pacifier too early. It activates the reflex that allows the baby to feed itself by not feeding it … Therefore, the pacifier should not be introduced before the proper establishment of breastfeeding. It is only when the mother and baby are perfectly comfortable with breastfeeding and this is happening without any associated difficulties that you should consider to introduce (or not) the pacifier.

It helps to soothe the baby when it is sleepy or having a tantrum.
There is some evidence that shows some protection from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) when used during the night after the 1st month of life (till 6th months).

It’s an addition. They will (probably) need our help to deal with it in future.
Can cause allergies (to latéx, to drool, etc.)
It’s easily a source of microbes (virus, bacterias, etc.)
Less hygienic.

There are only a few things in life there are “all or nothing” but like everything else in life, it’s a decision that has to be made and this one should be discussed by both parents.

How to help a baby to sleep through the night

Babies get into routines very easily, the trick is to make them the right ones.

The baby will only be able to sleep through the night when he does not need to feed at night.
After the recovery of the birth weight and the beginning of the stabilization of the growth, +/- after the first month, the baby will begin to increase the time of continuous sleep progressively. At this age, a bigger nap (about 4 or 5 hours) is already very good.

Normally, at 3 months a period of intense growth begins and babies tend to regress regarding to sleep time because they need more food during the night. After this phase, they quickly return to longer sleep. At this age, 6 or 7 hours in a row is great.

Later, at 6 months, we have a new peak of growth. After this, the true complete nights begins with between 8 and 12 hours in a row …

What to take into account: a baby only sleeps well if he/she is well fed and with nothing to bother. A tooth that is sprouting, a cold or even a colder night and we will have wake-ups during the night, the important thing is to calm the baby without letting him really wake up. Never start cuddling, talking, or any other activity that stimulates your baby. Keep the light as low as possible and only change the diaper when it is absolutely necessary.